A Tale of Two Prophets

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Of the False Kind

“But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak… that same prophet shall die.” … When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously (Deuteronomy 18:20, 22).

A parody of “Do Not Forsake Me” from the film “High Noon” (1952). Words by Ned Washington and Dimitri Tiomkin:

“This is the story of two radio and television prophets:
One an 81-year-old host of 700 Club, the other a 90-year-old owner of Family Radio.
The 700 Club host vows every New Year to outdo the Family Radio owner.
‘I can’t miss this moneymaking performance,’ he says to his boneheaded audience.”

Year after year, the 700 Club host never stops his false prophecies.

  • 1980: “I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world.”
  • 1988: “I heard the Lord saying, ‘I want you to run for president of the United States.’ … This is where God wanted me to be.”
  • 2004: “I think George Bush is going to win in a walk. I really believe I’m hearing from the Lord it’s going to be like a blowout election in 2004.”
  • 2005: “Revival will break out throughout the Muslim world.”
  • 2006: “The coasts of America will be lashed by storms… a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.”
  • 2007: “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.” (Revealing a “mass killing” due to a terrorist attack against America.) In January 2008, he concluded, “All I can think is that somehow the people of God prayed, and God in his mercy spared us.”
  • 2008: “He told me some things about the election, but… I’m not going to tell you who the winner’s going to be… By 2009, maybe 2010, there’s going to be a major stock market crash… There’s going to be violence and chaos in the world.”
  • 2009: “The dollar is going to go down dramatically … gold will go to about $1,900 dollars an ounce and oil to $300 a barrel.”
  • 2012: “I think He showed me the next president, but I’m not supposed to talk about that so I’ll leave you in the dark… [There will be] an economic collapse, ‘This is not my judgment, they are bringing it upon themselves.'” Sounds like a replay of 2008.

Harold CampingBut through his amazing numerology, the other prophet is the real doomsayer:

  • 1992: The end of the world will happen in September 1994?
  • May 21, 2011: The Rapture will occur on May 21. After May 21, Family Radio’s website posted this announcement: “What really happened is that God accomplished exactly what He wanted to happen. That was to warn the whole world that on May 21 God’s salvation program would be finished on that day. For the next five months, except for the elect (the true believers), the whole world is under God’s final judgment.”
  • October 21, 2011: The end of the world will come on October 21. Camping’s “retirement” from Family Radio was announced on October 24.

“I do not know what fate awaits me
I only know I must be brave
For I must face a man who hates me
Or die a coward, a craven coward
Or die a coward in my grave.”

If these two false prophets do not repent of their shameless scams committed against the dumwits of the world, the “fate” that awaits them is the eternal doomsday they’ve been predicting. On Judgment Day, they will “face a Man who hates” them because they have duped millions into believing their false teachings.

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