“Wide-Eyed John Hagee Learns About 2016 Supermoon”

supermoon-manhattanSAN ANTONIO, TX—According to sources close to the popular Bible teacher and prophecy expert, a wide-eyed, visibly excited John Hagee was informed about Monday’s historic supermoon, the brightest since 1948, Sunday afternoon.

“It’s gonna be how big?!” Hagee whispered breathlessly. “This is huge. I didn’t account for this in any of my charts. Oh boy—this could be it. This could really be it,” he muttered, pulling out an astronomical prophecy chart he keeps in his coat pocket.

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