Armageddon Now!?

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Evangelicals are surely focused again on the events in the Middle East. So I have a fun “quiz” for all:

Who Said These? (5 different people)

1. “There is no doubt that the Antichrist has already been born. Firmly established already in his early years, he will, after reaching maturity, achieve supreme power.”

2. “The time of the harvest is at hand… I have sharpened my sickle.”

3. “At no time in the history of the Christian Church have the conditions necessary to the Lord’s return been so completely fulfilled as at the present time.”

4. “For the first time ever, everything is in place for the Battle of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ.”

5. “We are the generation that will see the end times… and the return of Jesus.”

Wild guesses are acceptable, and will not be ridiculed. No Google searches, please. Answers in a few days. In the meantime, let’s all pray for our Lebanese, Palestinian, Israeli, and Iraqi brothers and sisters.

Hint: one is a politician, three are pastors, and another one a cult leader.

More hints: The politician was a recent U.S. president; two are popular dispensationalists (you know, the Secret Rapture, Left Behind kind).

Answers below.

About Nollie

Associate Pastor of Trinity United Reformed Church in Walnut Creek, CA. Assigned as missionary to the Philippines. Lives just outside Metro Manila with wife and daughter. Three older boys live and work in CA.
Nollie says:

Here are the answers:

1. Martin of Tours, Bishop of Tours (France), ca. 316-397
2. Thomas Muntzer, 1520, German Anabaptist
3. Clarence Larkin, American dispensationalist, 1918
4. Ronald Reagan, American president influenced by dispensationalism, 1971
5. Hal Lindsey, American dispensationalist, 1980

One colorful figure was the 2nd century A.D. false prophet-heretic Montanus. He predicted that the millennium was at hand around 170 A.D. and that Christ and the heavenly Jerusalem will descend from heaven in his hometown in Phrygia (present-day Turkey). Christ will then reign for a thousand years from Phrygia! All of these were revealed directly to him in dreams and visions by the “Holy Spirit.” A Pentecostal, dispensationalist turkey, indeed!

For a catalog of more recent failed dispensational prophets, see Jack Van Deventer’s “Bad Prophecy Rising.”

Aneida Alexander says:

My fingers have been itching to Google the list but I am guessing at least some of these are verrrrryyyyy old quotes. I’ll step out on a limb and guess none of them are as late as 1900. Like I said, there have been “roof sitters” from day one – not Genesis day one but Anno Domini.

Nollie says:

Good try, Janel. You came close in Clinton and LaHaye. One of the others is as outrageous as B.H. I don’t know if Kelly C. has a song about Armagedon, and neither does Brad P. have a movie about Antichrist.

Janel says:

Okay, here are some guesses:

1. Kelly Clarkson
2. Bill Clinton
3. Tim LaHaye
4. Benny Hinn
5. Brad Pitt

Nollie says:

Peter said “scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires. They will say, ‘Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation.'” (2 Pet. 3:3-4). Evangelicals scoff at the scoffers, but they themselves are the biggest contributors to the scoffing with their continuing failed prophecies.

Aneida Alexander says:

End times, schmend times.

I love the quiz – who said what and when, or in Washington-speak, what did you know and when did you know it. If Jesus wouldn’t tell the apostles anything about the time or events leading to his return except to say they’d be very surprised, why is it people think they can spot the end times now? Who remembers what Jesus said they (and we) were to be doing? Not being distracted by such speculation, that’s for sure.

Peter put in his two cents on the subject saying the end times were near but said this to make the point that people should be clear minded and praying – not engaged in useless speculation.

Paul even had to have a chat with some of the people of Thessalonica to get them off their duffs and back to work because they were apparently sitting around waiting for Jesus to come back.

There have been roof-sitters of a sort in every generation but they don’t stop to think that every minute of every day is an end time of sorts for plenty of people. The only difference is the person goes to meet Jesus instead of the other way around.

I think this is possibly another of Satan’s tools – believers get caught up in marking signs off a list and are not living, praying, studying, and witnessing as they should. It is a cause of confusion for believers and nonbelievers alike. Nonbelievers are looking at us as if we are nuts – and we are supporting this hypothesis by our behavior.

It’s going to be a surprise, people, it’s going to sneak up on us. Now back to work!